Book Reviews, DNF

{DNF} Royal Replicas by Michael Pierce (ARC)

by Michael Pierce

Genre: Young Adult, Dystopian
Pub Date: Jul 11, 2017
Publisher: ParousiaSix Press
Length: 420 pages
Spoilers: YES!

I received this free digital ARC from YA Bound Book Tours in exchange for my honest review.



Seventeen-year-old Victoria Sandalwood has served the Duke and Duchess all her life. Over the years, she’s learned to make due with what she has and endure her surrogate father’s awful punishments. She dreams of escape, but never expected it to come in the form of a message from the Queen of Westeria.

Victoria learns that she’s the Queen’s daughter, the younger sister to Princess Amelia, and it’s time to come home and claim her birthright. When she arrives, she discovers she’s not the only one who received the royal message.

Victoria must compete with six other girls to earn the affection of both the Queen and a princely suitor… and to replace the secretly deceased Princess Amelia. If she fails to win the crown, Victoria may just have to fight for her life…


NOTE: Many of you can attest to my excessive criticism towards the books I read, but that’s because I expect good stories. I don’t give passes for new writers or certain genres or age groups. A good story is a good story and a bad story is a bad story. Period. And I’ve read LOTS of bad stories (as you can tell from my 1-star reviews), but THIS!!! This is The First Book I’ve ever DNFed. And let me tell you why.

Royal Replicas. Where do I even being? It sounded cool. A little scifi. A little court intrigue. Maybe even a little danger. HA! I WISH! The blurb is such a hoax compared to what the story is actually about, but let’s just get into the god-awful mechanics of the story/writing! Shall we?


1) The World

Post-apocalyptic America that has literally REGRESSED by about 600 years to monarchies, over-lording powers, and societal hierarchy that generations upon generations fought wars to destroy. Yeah! That makes total sense. Oh! And a queen is the main ruler, but men still have control over the fucking household?! I don’t think so. Take your backwards ideology of how society regressed, but technology remained exactly the same and FUCK OFF back to the past!

2) The Main Character

Well, first things first. I believe the only middle-aged man who should be allowed to write from a teenage female’s POV is John Green (not that I’ve read any of his books). Everyone else CAN’T! Royal Replicas is a PRIME example of WHY not everyone can write a POV that isn’t representative of them because the main character, Victoria, has NO PERSONALITY! None. Nadda. Zip! Zilch! Literally nothing! She has no active role at all. She literally just lets EVERYTHING happen TO her and then doesn’t even seem to have EMOTIONS when those things do happen. If they are emotions, they are the blandest, more robotic thing I’ve EVER seen in my life! GOD!

3) The Love Interest(s)

Oh. My. Lord. I… am not even sure I can find the words for how I feel about this. No wait! I can. -.- Both love interests for Victoria are type-A ASSHATS! They, too, seem to believe in the male-dominated, yet not-male-run society. They also have NO personalities whatsoever other than the fact that they have dicks are incredibly horny. Because they both kissed her at LEAST a dozen times in only a handful of chapters… FOR NO REASON! AND at the most inopportune times.

“Oh, she’s crying? I should kiss her and force myself on her even though something really tragic JUST happened.”

“Oh. We’re alone and could like… I dunno… have a conversation and actually get to know each other because I’m searching for my true love? Nah! I’ll just shove my tongue down her throat!”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I haven’t even gotten STARTED on the dude who can’t seem to understand that she got her memory wiped so therefore doesn’t remember him, but because he remembers her he forces his love and demands and passion on her even though she doesn’t fucking know who he is!!!!!!!!!

4) The Writing!

Ha! I haven’t even gotten to how awful, broken, dull, and unimaginative the writing actually is! It was like the author had all these facts and individual, unconnected scenes that he just threw down on paper and was like: “yeah! That’s a story.” NO IT’S NOT! A story has connections and feelings and movement and, oh, I don’t know, a freaking purpose! Half the scenes in this story have no purpose whatsoever. They’re dull, unnecessary, and completed unfleshed out and this book isn’t even that long to begin with! It’s like the author wasn’t even TRYING!


Oh! Did I mention the author’s obsession with abuse? Yeah. That’s in here, too! Just in case you thought it couldn’t get any worse. Victoria’s past is riddled with graphic (and repetitive) abuse. I can’t say whether it’s sexual or not, but it’s most definitely physical, grotesque and REALLY UNNECESSARY! We get that the dude is a Class A Offender who abuses small girls to make himself feel powerful, and that abuse does happen and therefore is allowed to be represented in fiction, but you do NOT need to fill a fourth of the book with it! Nor do you need to go into detail EVERY TIME! WE GET IT!

16 thoughts on “{DNF} Royal Replicas by Michael Pierce (ARC)”

    1. Hahahahaha! I’m EXTREMELY good at not DNFing books. Thus, it takes a lot for me to DNF one. (and this is my first, actually.) So, I wanted to make it abundantly clear why I gave up on it. (and because ranting is totally therapeutic! Bahahahaha!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Same here. I had my first recently and I wanted to make sure I gave my reasons why and didn’t just say “well, I didn’t like it”, haha. We put so much out there when we write reviews, and authors put so much of themselves out there when they write books, so I feel like its only fair and decent to clarify why we didn’t like or finish something.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Hahahaha! As a writer, I would both enjoy and hate reading reviews, but I feel like I would have an obligation to know if I did something wrong. Part of being a writer is constantly improving. As a reviewer, I have an obligation to inform writers how they can improve and to inform readers how to best utilize their minimal reading time.

          Though… I know I’m overly critical. I sometimes expect too much from people. In fact, my writer friends have stated that will never allow me to review their books as they are afraid of my reviews. BAHAHAHA! Too funny.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. Tell me how you really feel! JUST KIDDING! I love how honest you are. This does sound awful. I hate it when authors use romance to transition from events that happen in a book!! You make a fantastic point. If a book is published then there are no passes. A publisher/agent has read it and deemed it a good enough story to publish. There are no passes! I feel like sometimes they get an “out” because it’s a debut. No! That’s not how it works. Your writing is either publish worthy or it’s not

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bahahahaha! Hey! I said I’d do an honest review. I would never lie to my readers (and I think everyone finds my outbursts a bit comical, too. :p)

      The worst part is that this isn’t this guy’s debut. He’s pubbed before and quite a bit from the looks of it. I don’t know the publisher (nor can find anything about them) and I’m not sure he’s agented either. Still, I don’t know how anyone could agree to pick up this book. It was AWFUL! And I’m being polite with that comment. 😉

      But to be honest, I’ve seen TONS of books lately from the Big 5 Publishers that are just horrible! The authors don’t even seem to have a grasp of writing, much less how to formulate a story. Yet, they have agents and are being promoed like crazy. I’m really worried for the future of YA lit. It’s kind of going downhill. :/

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Omg I couldn’t agree more! This has been the year of three star (or less) reviews for new releases. There’s a ton of hype surrounding these books. People are screaming about how much they love them. Then I read it and I say to myself: “what the hell were they thinking? Did I just read the same book?”
        I wonder sometimes if hyping a book is too easy now? With You Tube, book blogs and the publishers own marketing – There’s so many ways to get a book out there! But I’ve been disappointed more often than not this year. I’m reading The Sandcastle Empire right now which was released only a few weeks ago. Yet another hyped book promising amazing things and it’s putting me to sleep!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yeah. It’s really bad this year. Makes me not want to request any new books because I’ve been so let down so far. But it’s because the author is known or the publishers really do an amazing job with publicity. So no one has read the book, but so many people want to that we think it’ll be amazing. That, and I think that the general reading population is young and inexperienced in the way of good stories. So they scream and rave about everything. eye roll

          Liked by 1 person

          1. 😂 so true! I’ve had to really research the books I’m picking up because of that fact. I’m no longer a part of the YA age group (and haven’t been for quite some time!) so I have to see if it’s something that I can even relate to or enjoy

            Liked by 1 person

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