Guest Posts, Hallo-WE-en

Witches

Melanie invited bloggers to rave about their favorite supernatural creature well I’m telling you my biggest wish: when I grow up I want to be a witch!

Let’s think rationally here: there is very little chance that I’ll be bitten by either a werewolf either a vampire. So shifters and blood suckers are excluded to gain cool powers.

I’m not a fey either even if I have an above than average liking for glittery dust.

BUT

I can study to become a witch!

I’m a fast learner and a perfectionist so I bet Hermione Granger will have nothing on me.

My first spell will be Trouvo”. It’s a very useful spell for women when we want to find our keys or our lipstick or our driving license in our cavernous bag. It’s well known witches carry tiny pouches containing a whole house inside. The finest example was Mary Poppins. Of course she used the Trouvo spell!

My second spell will be Levito not to fly as I’ll have either a kickass broom to do just that or maybe a rug. Wait was it Aladdin flying on a rug? Sorry I’m confused by the fumes coming from the boiling potions! Anyway Levito is used very early in the morning when your toast is falling and will hit the floor on its buttered side. Very useful to avoid a mess. You can also use Levito when you’re so ensconced in this comfy sofa and don’t want to move to reach the remote.

 

The third spell I want to learn is “Vito”. It’s used in very stressing circumstances when you think people or objects are not moving fast enough. Think about it: you’re at the supermarket and of course your queue does not move. People are glued and the cashier is very chatty explaining her newborn wonders to that old lady. Well you would utter “Vito” with conviction and Pooof suddenly the cashier and customers in your line would move like in fast forward movies. Two seconds later you are paying your groceries and leaving the shop. Cool no?

 

See all infinite possibilities to learn?

As witch I want to have fun ladies nights with Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood. Weirdness and adventure guaranteed! If I lose my magic wand (I’m very distracted) I’ll ask my friend Samantha for advices to keep my house clean just moving my nose. And once I’ll be a Master Witch I want to teach spells and potions to help other clueless and dyslexic witches like Miranda Kane. You don’t know Miranda yet? She is the witch from Shadow Fall usually screwing up many spells and morphing a cat into a skunk. Now she also conjured the coca cola guy when her friends asked for a six pack of Coke. Not a bad move if you want my opinion and I’m sure you understand why I want to befriend her now.

 

Now the only down side is that I have not met a Uber sexy wizard so far. Sorry but little guys with huge glasses and scars on their forehead are fantastic to befriend but they do nothing to awaken my hormones.

Oh well, I’m sure we can intermingle and find a hot werewolf to have babies with (look at Professor Lupin) the only question would be: will they be on the furry side or not?

 

Now excuse me but I just have to find platform Nine and Three-Quarter at King’s Cross station to embark on the Hogwarts Express. If I miss this train I’ll have to wait and apply to Shadow Fall Camp. Now it would maybe not be a bad idea as this camp is filled with sexy Feys, Werewolves…

Sooooo let me think about the best strategy…

Thank you for reading and till next time to tell you more about my magical adventures 😉

11 thoughts on “Witches”

    1. Haha and now you can be a witch again! Let me just find my broom and my hat and I’ll follow you 😉

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    1. My Adam! This is so kind of you 🙂 I’m no writer but humor is my best friend. It makes life so much interesting 😉 Now excuse me but I have to prepare my last potions for Halloween!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Lara! Sorry for answering late but I’ve been held hostage by a black wizzard and forced to work like a slave these last days. He could not prepare potions for Halloween alone the foll! My loyal cat came to the rescue and wreaked havoc so that I could sneak out and answer today 😉

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    1. Haha Amy I usually charge a high hour rate but for you it will be free. I can recognize a gifted apprentice when I see one! And here again sorry for answering late I was drowning in potions orders for Halloween and barely had time to wander the woods and gather supply! 🙂

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