Discussion

{DISCUSSION} LGBT+ Family

Can LGBT+ people have families?

This is going to be a heavy topic today so buckle your seat belts and hang on. It starts with a post I saw on Facebook about my local baseball team who was having an ‘LGBT Family Day’ to support the people in our community who are LGBT+, but the post wasn’t just about that. No. One of my distant family members felt the need to re-post the event’s advertisement with their own comment about how disgusting it was for our local baseball team to promote their own agenda.

Hold the fucking phone!

First off, ‘agenda?’ Are you kidding me?! You call supporting members of our own community promoting an agenda?! What the absolute fuck!

Second off, I cannot fathom how some people believe themselves ABOVE others simply because they are different! Who the hell made you better? Who the hell said you were set up on a god damn pedestal and why? Because you’re white? Because you’re male? Because you’re straight?! The only one who thinks you’re on a pedestal is you!

So anyway, me, being me, couldn’t keep my mouth shut. My best friend is bisexual and I support her and I will punch absolutely fucking ANYONE in the face if they so much as look at her sideways because her sexuality is NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS! Nor is anyone else’s for that matter! Get your fucking nose back on your OWN side of the goddamn fence, Mr. Johnson. This isn’t the fucking ’50s anymore! Find something interesting in your OWN life to care about and mind your own BUSINESS! But because I do support people of all sexualities and it has become a trigger for me whenever someone talks bad about them, I replied. And what did I get in response?

“I don’t believe gay people can have families.”

Oh, you don’t, do you? How about when those two unmarried fathers love their child more and support them more and are more proud of them than the heterosexual married couple who are too wrapped up in their own bullshit to even notice they had kids?! Are you telling me that’s not a family?! Are you telling me they don’t deserve to be called a family when they love each other just as much if not MORE than straight people?!

There are a lot of things we support in the world because of ‘tradition’ and they have become extremely toxic. We push people to get married (even if they’re just going to start an abusive relationship and/or get divorced.) We push them to have kids (even though they don’t want them, don’t know how to take care of them, don’t know what it means to support them, and can’t pull their heads out of their own asses long enough to say something nice to their own children.) We push them to stay married for their kids (even though exposing children and teens to a toxic relationship is actually going to do them 10x more psychological damage than if they were children of divorce.)

Stop pushing your idea of what a ‘perfect’ life should be onto other people.

If you have so much time on your hands that you need to butt your face into someone else’s business and tell them how they should live their lives, Stop! Go find a hobby. Find something that actually needs to be fought about in this world and use your excessive amount of energy and time to help that cause. Maybe if you bottled up all that hate and utilized the time you waste on it to start a fundraiser for starving children, for protecting the environment, for doing ANYTHING positive in the world, the world would actually be a better place!

But then, after he stated that he was just voicing his disappointment in the baseball team, I said…

“I’m just voicing my disappointment in your bigotry.”

“It’s not bigotry. Blah blah blah…”

Bigotry. noun. intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself.

“God. Blah blah blah. Hell. Blah blah blah.”

I… I have so much shit to say to anyone who uses Christianity to spout their hatred for another person because, last time I checked, the bible and the Christian God say to ‘love thy neighbor’ and to ‘not judge’ because only God has the power to judge and all those who judge think themselves Godlike and that is a sin so you’re going to Hell. (At least that’s what I remember from church. But you know, not everyone actually listens…)

Please do not take any of this as a slight against Christians. I have met some amazing, wonderful, forgiving, benevolent people who are members of this faith. And I have also met people who pick and choose what they want to believe and twist the word of God to match their own agenda.

But this discussion comes down to the fact that…

ANYONE CAN HAVE A FAMILY!

I don’t care if you are white, black, Asian, Hispanic, Muslim, Hindi, Jewish, Christian, bi, gay, trans. Everyone is allowed to have a family. Everyone is allowed to CALL their family a family because a family is not determined by the members of that group. A family is determined by the love shared between people and, quite frankly, I have seen more love in non-traditional family groups (whether they are romantically involved or just platonicly loved) than I have seen in most ‘traditional’ family groups. 


And check out my discussion from last week:
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17 thoughts on “{DISCUSSION} LGBT+ Family”

  1. Awesome post!
    People like the ones you described piss me off to no end. If they spent half the time they waste on belittling other on their own business, i think they’d feel better already.
    Family is not necessarily just people you are connected to by blood. Blood connection just kind of happens and lot of people stick around toxic relatives just cuz “we are family” and it’s so counterproductive…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I completely agree with you, Norrie. I have seen a lot of toxic familial relationships continued to be pushed because of blood and though blood may be thicker than water, oil is thicker than blood and it will poison. It’s hard, but sometimes breaking with the people we’re supposed to call family is better and safer for someone and I hope they will find a family elsewhere because they still deserve a family. Everyone does.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. THIS!!! I love this!! It’s so awful how entitled people can be. Everyone deserves to have a family if that is their desire. Plus there is nothing wrong with a family so long as the love and support is there. Society has long forced everyone into thinking they belong in a singular box and that is not the case. I wish people would let love be what it wants to be. Saying that members of any group are incapable of having a family is wrong!

    Btw as a Christian I 100% support this! God is a God of love. I don’t think he made any mistakes as far as people who love each other are concerned.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Tiana, for joining the conversation and for being a supportive Christian. We need more people like you in the world because you are absolutely right. Love is love. It doesn’t matter what form or shape or color it comes in. It only matters that it’s pure and supportive and comforting.

      I really love your last statement about God not making mistakes because didn’t God make all of us? Aren’t we all God’s children? If that’s the case, then how can anyone be wrong? The Christian faith teaches us that we are all loved in God’s eyes, but I suppose to love unconditionally as he does is to truly be holy, yes?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly! I was always taught that God handcrafted every single person to be the way they are meant to be. With free choice to do as they will. In terms of love I can’t bring myself to see that something so pure could be seen as a sin. I wish more Christians were accepting of the lgbtq+ community!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. As a Christian this is definitely a topic that makes me so sad. You are absolutely right that Jesus said the whole of the law an the prophets can be summed up with the phrase “Love God and love your neighbor.”

    I once read a book by Christian author Max Lucado that said “The Golden Rule says treat others the way you want to be treated. But really it aught to say treat others the way THEY want to be treated.” As far as I’m concerned, no matter how well intentioned someone might be, when they treat their LGBTQ neighbors this way they are NOT being loving.

    I have a friend from college this is an especially sore subject about. He is a pastor and a wonderful, loving person. EXCEPT that he’s one of those pastors who is signing petitions to ban the church against allowing gay marriage. He says, basically, that he loves gay people so much that he can’t allow them to live in sin. He want to save them from eternal damnation. I’ve had to stop talking to this person. NO WHERE in the Bible does it say you have to be sin-free in order for God to love you. Jesus died so our sins would be forgiven. So if you do believe being gay is a “sin” (something I am also not on board with) you’re still being an effing hypocrite.

    I am proud to say that my church’s leadership is not doing any of this, and is leading our church into being more loving of our neighbors. Whether they’re LGBTQ, homeless, addicted, or whatever else might make people uncomfortable, they are welcome at our church.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so grateful for you speaking out on this topic, Katie, as I had a very limited upbringing in the Christian church (and ultimately turned away from it.) You are a fantastic example of how the Christian faith and its followers can embrace everyone around them because that is what the faith teaches. Love. Forgiveness. Respect.

      The fact that some people can’t love others as they are just goes to show how poor of a Christian they are themselves. I truly do not understand how people can call themselves a Christian when they are truly the worst, most hypocritical Christian there is. But what’s worse is that there are people in this world who live in fear or hide who they or who kill themselves because they feel so unloved and are ridiculed and told they are sinners. How is that right? What kind of a person does it make you when your hatred for another person is the reason they killed themselves? Do you truly think you are going to Heaven now? 😥

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, one of the wonderful teachings of scripture is that you don’t have to be a “good Christian” in order to be a Christian. Because honestly? I absolutely fail at a lot of Christian-ness. I think it’s important to remember when dealing with people with different beliefs than you that everyone thinks THEY are doing the right thing. These people don’t think they’re being hateful. They’re wrong.

        But yelling at them just gets them defensive. It’s not really much more helpful than them telling gay people they’re sinning. I try go at them with love. Share the scripture about loving their neighbor, MAYBE point out some hypocrisy if I have a strong relationship with them. MLK Jr. said that only love can banish the darkness. And that’s how I try to handle those Christians, especially because that’s the language they’re trying to speak.

        Not that a good rant isn’t completely necessary from time to time.

        Like

        1. I understand that to err is human and no one is perfect, but that also is not an excuse to act like a horrible person. Sinning Monday-Saturday and praying on Sunday does not absolve you. At least, I don’t believe it should, but God is forgiving and the Catholics do believe in such things as far as I understand.

          I also agree with you on having a discussion with people. Getting heated will solve nothing. However, in my experience, you cannot reason with these people and you cannot communicate calmly with them as they just become defensive. They will not see reason as they believe they are correct. It is difficult if not impossible to sway someone who is not open to change, and I unfortunately do not have the patience to be polite with some of these people because I cannot fathom treating another human being as anything less than that. It has become a trigger for me.

          and yes. A good rant can be cathartic, even if with people who understand your point of view. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I find that almost ANYONE gets defensive when you try and talk to them. Could THEY not just as easily way “Melanie will not see reason as she believes she is correct”? But I have better experience with my Christian friends on this subject matter when I don’t jump in with “You’re being hateful.” I have better luck starting with “Imagine how that person feels.” Not that I have had much luck…

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I’m glad you have the patience to discuss with these people, though. I am not doing anyone any favors because I’m naturally argumentative and I truly cannot fathom how some people believe themselves more human than others. That just baffles me. And certain topics trigger me now so it’s also hard to remain calm and have a legitimate conversation with them.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. It’s frustrating for me too. But I think it’s so easy to think of anyone as less human than yourself, which is kind of what Paper Towns is all about. I know I have a hard time realizing that other people are actual PEOPLE with feelings and stuff. It’s so easy to think of them as just, there. If that makes sense?

                Liked by 1 person

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