Musings, Updates

Where have I been?

So… some of you may have noticed that I’ve been kind of… well.. MIA. Like to the point that I haven’t posted a blog post in over 2 weeks now and I have a pretty good reason for why this has happened. (And some not so good reasons.) Anyway! Let me sum up my life in an updates post, shall I? πŸ˜€


  • Quit grad school
  • Applied for hundreds of jobs
  • Got less interviews than I can count on one hand
  • Panicked
  • Might have fallen into a mild state of depression
  • Received a single job offer
  • Started said job
  • Dealt with the painful consequences of becoming inactive

Did ya get all that? Hahaha! If you didn’t notice, May was a bad month for me. While I was relieved and 100% sure about my decision to quit grad school, real life doesn’t always make those types of decisions so easy. I started applying for jobs back in March and didn’t get an interview until late April and didn’t receive a job offer until mid-May.

During all that time I was still paying rent, buying groceries, caring for my dog. Just because we aren’t gaining an income doesn’t mean our financial obligations stop and this was a very stressful point in my life. (Not the worst. Mind you. I’ve had much worse, but enough to have a negative impact on my mental state.)

It got to the point where I didn’t really want to communicate with people, the only reason I got out of bed in the morning was because my dog needed to be let out. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t read. My back pain was returning due to lack of mobility, stretching, and strength training, and the pain was sometimes bad enough where even sitting hurt.

Why am I telling you all of this?

I am telling you all of this not for your pity or your well wishes or anything of that sort. I’m telling you because everyone has a hard time in their lives and, because we can’t see the people on the other side of the blog, we sometimes forget that they are real people with real lives and real issues.

During my month off, I spent a bit more time searching through Twitter. You know what I found? Calls for help. Not blatant screaming all-caps tweets, but subtle, quiet, easily passable tweets. These are the ones I noticed. And after everything that has happened in the blogging community lately, I couldn’t let them slide. I couldn’t just pass through. I reached out and simply asked them if they wanted to chat and you know what? They did. Life gets busy. Life gets chaotic, but sometimes all someone needs is an ear, a shoulder, literally anyone making them feel noticed.

I am so grateful for the friends I have who supported me during my stressful month. They know me well enough to understand why my situation was affecting me so badly and they were there to listen and talk to me and distract me and give me hope (albeit, I’m not the easiest person to give hope to. πŸ˜‰ I don’t make their jobs easy for them. Hahaha!) But they were there. And for that I am more grateful than I can ever say.

Okay. This post wasn’t supposed to be a massive downer or like a “Hey, look at all the heavy details of my life!” :p It’s supposed to be an update post. So let’s get to the things I did manage to finish during May, shall we?? πŸ˜€

May Achievements

    • Finished first draft of SYMBIOTE (looking for betareaders, read below)
    • Submitted multiple short stories to America’s Emerging Writers anthology
    • Created an author website (check it!)
    • Joined Ko-Fi (please think about supporting me)
    • Participated in #PitDark and received an agent like >.<

Despite all of my stress and personal issues, I did manage to make some progress. (Having betareaders holding me accountable is one of those crazy external motivators that keeps me going. And I am so grateful to all of them!) And it’s because of my betareaders that I managed to push through and reach my goal of having a first draft of SYMBIOTE finished for June, and I’m now looking for people to read it!

If you might be interested in reading (and destroying, pretty please!) my YA SCIFI story, please fill out this Google Form. Filling it out does not mean youΒ have to read. It simply shows you have an interest in betareading. I will email you within 2 days with more details about the manuscript and you are then welcome to decide from there whether you would like to/will have the time to help me out. πŸ™‚

Lastly, if you haven’t noticed, I am pretty open about my life, my struggles, and my desire to connect with others. If you ever are having a hard time, a bad day, or just need to vent to someone, I’m always happy to lend an ear. Just hit me up here or on Twitter (@NoellBernard) and I’ll be happy to listen. πŸ™‚


2 thoughts on “Where have I been?”

  1. I would say, all in all, your May balanced out. It is always tough to make a career change. Humans are not conditioned to take change, especially BIG changes. I’m so happy you found a support system – a great move to reach out. As for my May, I fell down some stairs and broke a bone in my foot. Has put the skids on a lot of June plans!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh no! I hope you’re alright. Breaking feet is never fun. It really does throw a wrench in everything (I’ve broken both of mine already. So I know. πŸ˜› ) I hope you heal quickly!

      And change can be hard, but I am resilient. It’s not the first big change in my life (and not the biggest in the last few years) so I knew I’d be alright, but there is always going to be some concern. And sometimes it gets the better of us. πŸ˜› And you’re right. I guess May did balance itself out. I just didn’t see it. Hee hee! Thank you!


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